asmaria: (Link tense)
Sorry for not updating in so long. Life has been busy. I have a test this week that I'm really not prepared for, but for various reasons I hadn't gotten to the homework. I'm frustrated with myself, but what can you do. Today a new girl is starting at work and I have to focus on getting her all set up. If there's time, I'll finish the review at least.

I started watching a new anime on netflix called Xam'd. That is some crazy shit. But it's by Studio Bones, and I can't turn it off, it's that interesting. I think I'm gonna cosplay Haru at A-kon.
asmaria: (Komui sleepy)
I am so exhausted. I think I'm dreaming at night or something because I'm not getting enough sleep. I also had a nightmare the other night, I thought I heard a dog panicking at my bedroom door, scratching and crying at it. The worst part was that was when [personal profile] insidious rolled over on the top bunk and the creaking bedframe startled me out of my sleep. I'm surprised I didn't shout or anything. My heart was racing, though.

Last night I think I just plain out went to bed too late, but it wouldn't make much difference. Besides, I was watching Escaflowne again with [personal profile] selphish. We're brainstorming a game that we can post to in our spare time based on the series, so I'm really excited, and I'm so nostalgic about that show.

Tomorrow I've got the first day of class this semester, and don't have any school supplies yet. I guess I'll pick something up on campus if I can leave work early. I have to talk to my dad about that, cause I don't have my book yet either. Ugh, why did my paycheck have to come so late. If the funds aren't available tomorrow (the check has to clear) I'm just going to wait until this weekend to pick it up. Even though I hate starting the homework late, work has been slow enough lately I can do the problems up there on the computer online to catch up. Thankfully.

I need to write a reply for my sandbox with [personal profile] insidious tonight but I think I'm going to take a bath and see if that helps me focus any better first. Then sleep. z_z Ugh.
asmaria: (Allen T_T)
Wow, people are so lazy and late to get anything done. I know I'm not the fastest worker myself, but it's taken over a week to get an appointment to get this sign installed up here at work. They are finally coming by today, with a last minute notice to me asking if I was ready for them. Uh yeah? I've been asking all week before Christmas, you're just lucky I was in the office today.

Also, my 1pm appointment is late. Seriously? You're a sales rep and you want to sell me things, so where the hell are you?

:|

This isn't professional, guys.

Really. If I had other options, I'd take them in a heartbeat.
asmaria: (Mimiru)
I really don't want to get up tomorrow morning and catch the bus. It's coooold! ;_; But I have to be there for packages that are arriving, and things are finally picking up pace and we should hopefully be getting everything together in the next week or so so my coworkers can have jobs. Man, I'm both excited and not! Because it's gonna get busy at one point and I'll work 7 days a week (second job on weekends) until I can quit there, aside from the day I ask off for a birthday for a friend and for my mom. @________@

Right. Going to bed now.

Oh, I started playing Tales of Rebirth on my PSP. :D It's really good even though I've only just got to the first town and have to use the translation online.

Goodnight!
asmaria: (Lina)
Does anyone want to exchange cards? I will screen comments on this post, just leave me your address! If you want a different holiday on your card instead of Christmas, let me know that too and I'll send the appropriate kind! :D

Today is my last weekday at my current job, and I'll be moving to weekends only (ugh, 10 hour shifts, not looking forward to it). But my new job starts Monday!!!! *_* And I'll work both for the rest of this year, which sucks, but that way I'll keep my benefits until my new ones kick in.

I really can't wait to be able to start affording things again.

Registered for next semester today at school though, so I feel accomplished!
asmaria: (Kanda smack)
I got a 100 on my math test, even though I didn't finish it. The last 3 questions were bonus questions, so getting two done, and one regular question wrong, it all evened out. *_*

I've been a brat lately. I hate saying the wrong things. I get frustrated when the wrong words come out of my mouth, and I should know better. I think I am explaining why I say or do something awkward, and then I end up insulting someone. It doesn't matter what I was doing, I should just apologize. I do it so often though I have to wonder, what's wrong with my perception? I can change my attitude and I can change my reaction, but it doesn't change the thoughts in my head that don't understand. I will still get frustrated, and I don't know what to do with those feelings.

That dumbness aside, I work all week this week and I'm going to have to push myself to not stress out. It's really not so bad, I just hate the long stretch of not having a break. I worked 2 days over the weekend and I work straight until Thursday. My dad emailed me though and said somehow, the old job I used to work might be coming back together. I am so glad. Not just because he offered me a position again (and hell yes, I accepted!), but because I am so proud of my dad. In contrast to my lack of effort, he has worked hard in life to get what he has. I am not capable of pushing myself the way he has. I look at what I'd have to give up to be that successful, and it terrifies me. My dad is awesome, though. I hope he is happy that he is getting the business back together, because while he wouldn't really talk about it, I know it hurt him that the company sold to a larger one and it was out of his hands. I'm going to do everything I can to help this time. I won't take my position for granted. Leaving this here to myself, I want to look back on it and motivate myself, even if all I am for him is a receptionist/assistant.

I finished watching Ouran Host Club this past weekend, and it made me think a lot about my friends and my future. It was a really beautiful show. I love it. *_*
asmaria: (Komui sleepy)
Work went on forever and ever today. Corporate was going to come by at some point during my shift, but the manager on duty as usual didn't let me out when my shift ended. And we always get a flood of people RIGHT at that hour, because we start serving breakfast. Every other manager I've had closes my drawer early so that they won't be too swamped to do so when the rush comes. But honestly, I think they need to schedule one more person overnight because I always feel like I'm leaving them short-staffed when I leave.

Either way, I'm glad to be out of there. When corporate did come in, it was like a sea of bigwigs in button up shirts, and they helped clear out the swarm of orders really fast. I also answered all the questions they asked me correctly, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. I hope this gets something done about the night shift, that they notice that more workers are needed at that hour. But either way, I'm exhausted.

I didn't get anything productive done today except the dishes. I'll try to motivate myself to work on Martel in the morning, before it's back to work again. @_@ I really wish I had more time to do fannish things right now. I still need to try and make some kind of music video out of all the footage I got at Otakon.

But for now, sleep. z_z Goodnight!
asmaria: (Komui sleepy)
I'll post about the last day of A-kon eventually. Right now it's just lots of rambling.

Work today was really long, and we were so swamped with customers I didn't think it would ever end. I literally worked up a sweat, but I guess that's good. It means we have a lot of business, and maybe I'll lose some weight. My only complaint is that my knees really hurt from bending down to pick up trash, and is it really that hard to clean up after yourselves and your kids when you have a meal out?

But that's food service for you. I don't let it get to me. I'm happy to be moving instead of stuck behind a desk, and when I do work hard, my boss thanks me for it. He did that the other day, which means a lot because it's fast paced and hellish work; they don't put things gently when they need it done, they tell you and you get lectured daily. But strangely, it never feels condescending like my last job. Just like they have to tell 30 or so employees the same thing all day every day and after a while the friendliness wears off. We're all still nice to each other otherwise.

I still am not getting that many hours, though. They send people on breaks or send us home when they are absolutely forced to. I'm hoping that because it's getting so busy lately that they won't have to as much. I just have to prepare myself for the nonstop work.

My other job though, they've been giving me a ton of work I'm not really qualified for, and it's frustrating. I definitely do NOT want to stay in the design industry, that's for sure. I haven't told them this yet. I have told them I am going to go to school, and will be taking photoshop classes, but it's for Photography and I did let them know this the other day. They seem interested and hopeful that I'll be able to do more in photoshop. I'm... flattered. I just can't stay with them forever. They are giving me a wonderful opportunity though and I'll stay with them as long as I can feel helpful to them, especially this first semester since I won't be doing anything but math.

...I dread when school starts. I hate math. I'm just going to do it because I need to. ._.

This weekend kinda sucks though because even though I have the rest of tonight and tomorrow off, I don't really because I have photoshop stuff due on monday, and on monday I have Jury duty. I really normally keep this stuff to myself, but I don't think I have any place in the legal system. I don't feel competent, I am emotionally influenced, highly judgmental in a snap-judgment sort of way (think a 15 year old), and my only saving grace is that I am aware of these things. But I can't take choices like that. I don't want them on my conscience and I will admit that I am selfish because of it. You probably wouldn't want someone like me on your jury though. I'd probably end up crying at something.

I need to find a moment this weekend to make a prototype of the bags I was thinking of making. I have an idea of a way to make extra money on the side since even two jobs is not making enough to pay the bills. If only I had the time to also write as much as I'd like to. I keep getting fic ideas, and that's shaky ground for me, but I want to post in my sandbox first and foremost. There is just never enough time in the day. :(
asmaria: (Iron Man)
Today's the day of my freedom from hell.

And probably a 3 day weekend before my awesome job starts. Couldn't get better than this right now.
asmaria: (Loki)
Counting down, 7 hours, 15 minutes until I hand in my two weeks notice. Have the whole thing typed up, but I still have to discuss it with them. Honestly, I kind of want them to walk me out of the building right then and there, if it didn't mean two weeks without pay. Ugh. Oh well. It'll all end one way or the other, and then I can wash my hands of that filth.
asmaria: (Default)
I got the job at Whataburger! I start in two weeks! Turning in my notice is going to be hell, though.

But then I find things like this on youtube, and my whole life and problems feel smaller:



His name is Sung-bong Choi, and he was homeless his whole life, raised himself from the age of 5 on the streets, and still taught himself schooling and to sing. I hope he's happy somewhere, because damn does that kid deserve it. ;_;
asmaria: (Black Star - YAHOO!)
I have an interview at my local Whataburger tomorrow. I'm going to ace this. I've worked there before and I know I'll feel super comfortable with that job even if there are new menu items to learn and maybe new procedures. The manager even said he doesn't normally do interviews on Saturdays but I told him I work weekdays and am looking to change jobs, and he said that he'd make me an exception.

Yes. I need this job. I'll even work nights if it'll pay me more. (I hear night shift gets $8 an hour) If I stay with them for long enough I can become a manager, and with their flexibility I can go to school. I know it pays less, but I just have to budget everything. My other job is offering me more work in my off-time, so that can make up the difference and go into my money for Otakon.

This kind of optimism is something I greatly miss having.
asmaria: (Komui crazy)
So yesterday I applied at Aldi and it went okay I guess. Got there 20 minutes before the line opened, and there were already about that many people there. By the time the line started moving, I was halfway through filling out my application and the line was out the door. Got it turned in at 12:20, which is 10 minutes until my lunch was up, so we had to speed back to my office and I was 3 minutes late. :( But they never knew. I said I went to lunch with my grandma, which was true...

Anyway, it was disappointing to see that all they were doing was asking you if you could lift 45 lbs, be there between 5AM and 11PM, and had a high school diploma and adequate transportation to work. I said yes to all, even though 1. My knees are shot, but I just need to lose weight. Hole in the bucket problem. 2. I take the bus and have no way of getting there that early, but the store doesn't open until 10AM and I applied for cashier, so... weird.

Oh well, if they call me back for an interview, I have no idea how I'm going to get there. Every single fucking time I get an interview, I have to turn it down because I can't get off work. I'm stuck. My parents won't let me quit, my roommate gives me a look like I had better not, because I owe rent and it affects them both, but how the hell do I change jobs if I can't even interview for new ones? I'm going to apply to whataburger this summer no matter what, because it's down the street. I have lived on unemployment wages and I know I can make it on that little, but it's the only way right now that I can possibly see getting to interviews. I don't know what else to do.

Oh yeah, getting that license. Working on that. ._.
asmaria: (Estelle hmm)
I took an online aptitude test because I'm so torn over the state of what kind of future my career will be. I never cared before, because I thought I had it made. I mean, I took it for granted, sure. I kind of always knew that. But school is terrifying and I don't feel particularly smart. What I am good at is the kind of work that just doesn't pay well. But anyway, I can't say I'm surprised at the results. One test isn't worth posting because it was so simplistic, but it did point out pottery as the top choice. The other test was very detailed:

I agree with about 50% of it )

Ugh... and to top it all off? There's so much I'm going to have to pass before I can even get to those classes. Can I do it all in time? Don't your credits time out if you don't complete your degree in a matter of years? I'm so bad at math. My paper writing skills earned me a consistent D the last time I took the class, but I got a B once. Critical thinking has never been my forte, but I love to create.

I'm such a whiner.
asmaria: (Gokudera)
I fell asleep on the couch last night before I could make it up to my room for bed. I intended to go to bed early to make up for what I didn't get sleep-wise the night before. Still no contact from my other job, which is disappointing. I can't say I'm in a particular hurry to finish the work when I can't without some input. It's pretty much at a point now where they need to give a yes or no on the art.

This is why I don't want to do graphic design. I keep thinking I want to, but then I realize that people are fickle, and won't be able to make up their minds on what they want. Not to mention that the work comes and goes by demand, and my skills are not on a level that I feel I can always give what people are looking for. To be honest, I would love a job where I did something like building things with my hands. Whether it be crafting wood or sculpting, but what exists in that market these days? Not to mention, I think if I found something like assembling furniture, they would want me to be a man who could lift 50+lbs. Is there a future for girls anywhere in that kind of career?

I can't help but think daily about what kind of job I would rather have. I'm sure this is normal for everyone, but every single break that I have I am on my phone searching craigslist. I only see myself happy with a job that has flexible hours. I don't care if it pays less as long as it's enough to make ends meet. But until Otakon, I can't afford to switch to something else unless it pays what I'm making now because I've committed to that. My daydreams are of walking out of my office and working at Whataburger for the rest of the summer.

And then I want to ramble excitedly about my RPs and how much of a crossover they have grown into but I have a feeling no one would get them. D. Gray-man + .hack//SIGN and //GU + Hunter x Hunter + Trigun + Code Geass + Escaflowne and Rayearth and Slayers. Maybe I should force myself to start drawing art from them again because I really miss posting that stuff to Deviantart.
asmaria: (Komui sleepy)
Went to Six Flags this past weekend with [personal profile] insidious using the pass my grandparents gave me for Christmas. :) It was lots of fun. We were off to a very late start thanks to going to get makeup for my Bookman costume, but the stop was well worth it. I got a ton of high quality Kryolan makeup and a few bald caps, plus some brushes and sponges to apply it all with. And the guy at the shop gave me a lot of good advice.

After that, we headed toward Arlington, but stopped for lunch first at Panda Express. Did not realize the irony of eating there after planning a Bookman cosplay until later in the day when [personal profile] insidious pointed it out. XD We got to Six Flags by a little bit after noon, and it was crowded. We should have gotten there sooner but the costume shop wasn't open until 10, and there wasn't much we could do but go later if I wanted to get both done in the same day. I would have done the shopping Sunday, but they were closed.

Inside the park, it was line after line, because first I had to get my season pass (and realized later I could have done it after, but alas), and then we stood in line for forever to ride Runaway Mountain. We had tried the line for the Titan, but it was huge. It was looking pretty bad for getting anything done even though we had fun on that ride, and we got hung up waiting for the train to take us around the park. That was my idea, because I wanted to save us a walk and have some fun at the same time, but I ended up just making [personal profile] insidious sit in the heat instead while they ended up having to refuel the train. -_- In the end though, after THAT, things got better.

We had some awesome cheese fries and got one of those collector cups with the free refills all day, just ended up sharing it because why pay $14 for just one person? Pft. Then we waited for forever to ride the Titan, yeah, but it was worth it. We figured at that point that since we had waited so long we could at least wait to be first on the cart, and so we stood in line next to an obnoxious couple who stayed liplocked for at least 30 minutes. I joke, but they really were attached at the hip.

After that we played some games, and I won a Toad plushie from Mario in the arcade. We looked at the line for Batman but it was long, so we gave up and played the water gun racing game, until [personal profile] insidious finally won a Slimer plush from Ghostbusters. Then I went and played the game where they guess your age, because it's not a trip to Six Flags for me until I do. Last year I believe they guessed something like 25? It was young for me, but not even close. This year though... I don't know how or why, but I was getting 16-17 guesses from everyone. It was so hard not to laugh. I'm 30. Maybe it was the Sailor Moon shirt or maybe it was because I had a plushie, but Julie already calls me Benjamin Button for a reason I guess. In the end, it was so worth it to see the look on this teenage girl's face because she was one of the ones convinced I was that young.

I don't see it, but whatever. XD It made my day.

Then we went and stood in line for the Flashback, and some kids kept standing on the rails of the line and nearly fell on me. They held up the line EVERY row, and got yelled at by the staff. I was surprised they weren't thrown out, but eventually we got to ride, and by that point we were exhausted. It was 8:30, so we decided to head home. We got some Chick Fil-A, and I bought an extra sandwich to have for Sunday because without fail, I end up craving it the day after.

And then I spent all day today either sleeping, RPing, or working on graphic design work that I put off all weekend. I still have about an hour of that to get done before I can sleep. I'm a bit thrown off though because of that nap. T_T

Poor [personal profile] insidious also had a terrible allergic reaction on and off over the weekend, so I hope she'll be okay. We think it must have been food that had penicillin on it somehow. :( At least she's feeling better now.
asmaria: (Eudial should not be driving)
Work with my second job has slowed to a crawl since I haven't had any feedback, but I got my first paycheck yesterday! It's only a hundred dollars and I am pretty sure no taxes were taken out of it, so I'm gonna set some aside as if it were, but that's still a lot for just a few hours a night! I am starting to miss my free time, though.

This weekend we're going to finally use the season pass my parents gave me and go to Six Flags! I have to be super careful and not blow any money, but I'm excited and looking forward to it! I need a roller coaster and some adrenaline rushes to blow off some steam from the other job.

And on the way there we're gonna check out Norcostco for a bald cap for my Bookman costume! If I remember right, I think that's the super huge costume and theater supply shop that Kirsten showed to me. I am grateful to know of it because I think I'm going to need advice using a kryolan cap, and I'll be having to teach [personal profile] insidious how to do it for me.

Speaking of Cosplay, I'm trying to somehow manage to do all the ones I want to on a budget since I already have a lot to worry about affording for the trip to Otakon this summer. I think there is extra red fabric to make Kurapika's Chinese jacket with, for A-kon, but only if there's time after making the D. Gray-man coats. We already have all the fabric for that because [personal profile] insidious got it all on sale months ago and we used some for her Lavi pants. I am also sewing two lab coats because we will be Eudial and Tomoe for A-kon. At least those are easy though.

I am so excited to get started on all this! @_@ I'm just glad it's friday cause running late and spilling the blueberries from the fridge and then forgetting my wallet could have ruined the last day of my week if my bus driver wasnt so cool to just let me on. The rest of this day is going to be good. I will make it be.

*___*

Apr. 10th, 2012 11:45 am
asmaria: (Komui crazy)
I know I really could stand to post more. I pretty much disappeared these past few months. The truth is, I've become super lazy, and I suspect my job is taking it out of me. So is it even more crazy of me to consider taking on part time work after this job to do artwork for my old employer? They contacted me today and asked if I'd do their graphics. I mean at least with that I can do it by my computer at home. I need to find out more from them, so I'll be speaking with them this afternoon on my break. I really have my fingers crossed over this though... Even if it's just part time, it's experience, and I need that if I want to get out of this hellhole.

But in other news, I went to Anime Matsuri and saw some old friends. It was lots of fun. I had a bit of a breakdown on Friday but well, I think stress and realizing my age and weight as a cosplayer got to me. [personal profile] insidious snapped me out of it, and Saturday and Sunday were much better! *_* I may look a bit chubby as Allen Walker, but I was very proud of my makeup and I got a lot of hugs! We saw a panel on cosplay makeup on Friday and it really helped out. I made the scar out of latex, and colored in between the grooves with brownish red Mehron face paint. My contacts were a grey one and a red and black ringed one (not schlera, too expensive!), I think it was called a Saw lens. XD But I had a ton of fun in it. Then Sunday we did Hunter x Hunter cosplay, which was a huge hit. I had so much fun with everyone, and not to mention that between Saturday and Sunday, I saw Nick, Gabe, and Aly, so I felt pretty nostalgic too.

[personal profile] insidious and I have decided to be as healthy as possible up until A-kon. It's not only good for us, but will also save us money. I brought my lunch today and I'm not going to eat out at all for two months straight.

I need to remind myself that for every down, there is an up. I'm trying to catch myself whenever I post something negative on FB, and change it into a positive instead. Didn't quite work last night, but this morning it did. Maybe if I do it enough it'll bleed over into my attitude IRL.
asmaria: (Gokudera)
First things first, I'm so tired. I think I slept 9 or 10 hours last night, though not all in one go. I also woke in the middle of the night, heard a voice whisper something, and rolled over to go back to sleep because I did not want to acknowledge it and it was in the middle of the night while I was sleeping downstairs on the couch. I swear I heard the stairs creak lightly.

Later I had dreams about a dog that I am not sure if it was Maggie or Summer, but reminded me of both. It was bizarre.

When I woke up though, [personal profile] insidious and I went to get my drug test done. That's right. I passed my 3 day working interview!! So once they find my pee drug free, I'll have a permanent job, and 2 months from now, I'll have full benefits!

I really don't care how stressful this job is because I needed this. I think that I will get better at it, and the people are really nice too. My biggest problem is learning about all the protocols for answering phones correctly, but I can get that eventually. It's a huge test of my attention span, but it's pushing me to be better than I was before. It's making me stop being a slacker, something that I've recently come to terms with, and I actually feel proud of what I can do when I bust my ass to get it done. I just hope that I can keep this momentum going. I don't want to let anyone down.

Anyway, then we went and saw Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, then Red Tails. Extremely Loud was an AMAZING movie, but I cried so much during it. It was very moving, and I thought that I might find some of the traits of that kid annoying, but honestly I just grew attached to him by the end of the film. It's not just about him, it's about people, and loss, and understanding yourself and the world and the people around you. You will have this bittersweet feeling when you leave the theater, but in its own way, it's uplifting.

Red Tails was fun, but definitely a Lucas Film, and definitely a bit on the corny side with dialogue. I still enjoyed it, and the flights and battles were well choreographed, and I liked all of the characters.
asmaria: (Reever)
I made it through day 2, and my brain feels like mush. There's so much to remember and so many specific ways that I have to answer the phones, I don't know how I'm ever going to do this, but I'm going to try. I need to sleep now so I can get up and do it again tomorrow. z_z

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