asmaria: (Default)
I am so excited. I enrolled today for Steel Band again at Richland. And while I had said I didn't want to take another math class, I figured 'what the hell?'. My teacher had a point when she said 'use it or lose it', and I don't want to forget what I had learned by the time I get around to feeling like taking Algebra. So, I'm going to take it this fall. And if I can manage Algebra AND music, then maybe next semester I'll take something else on top of that. It just depends how I feel, but I really want to keep my brain active.

It scares me to think that bipolar and alzheimers have the same areas of the brain affected, and I may just be being a worry wart, but I feel like being in school keeps things in my head ticking the way they should be. I'll stay in school forever if I keep getting the highs of accomplishment that I got last semester.

On top of that, I like my therapist, and I found a psychiatrist that will see me. I feel so... responsible. I hope that this optimism lasts.

Last weekend [personal profile] insidious and I saw Pacific Rim, and it was AWESOME! And then the next day we went to the Dollar Theater and saw Olympus Has Fallen. That was also good, and I love the actors in it. I felt like I was watching some alternate universe of Batman, though, because Harvey Dent and Lucius Fox. XD

Then Sunday [personal profile] rubyredrose, [personal profile] ot_atma, and Gypsy got me and we went to Ikea. Well first I went to a breakfast buffet with [personal profile] insidious, and so I planned to have a healthier lunch at Ikea. We went to Blue Mesa instead, which was another buffet, and so my diet was blown but it was so delicious. ;_; I also got a pretty tasty drink, but the blueberry made it kind of bitter. After that we got my shelf and some tupperware, and after an ordeal getting inside and assembled, I have a bookshelf. It was exhausting, but tonight I plan to use that clear space to organize my room more. Without them, I wouldn't be able to get as far as I have.

Tonight I'm gonna stop and get groceries on the way home. Well, rice at least. I have a delivery of local farm vegetables showing up tomorrow, so I don't need much else. Then I'll cook and get to organizing, and then play some Suikoden again. It's almost time to take away all of Gremio's things. T___T That game is so sad, but what I do to the characters may be worse.
asmaria: (Lenalee worried)
I got an 84 on my test!! AN 84!!! I'm going to pass, and at least have a high B! *_* So happy!

Cut for depression )

Anwyay, back to happy things.



YOKO KANNO, TM REVOLUTION, [personal profile] selphish, [personal profile] indulgent_sin MY FRIENDS FROM SOUTH TEXAS, AND THE LARP!!!


I don't know if I can contain my excitement. ;_;
asmaria: (Link tense)
Sorry for not updating in so long. Life has been busy. I have a test this week that I'm really not prepared for, but for various reasons I hadn't gotten to the homework. I'm frustrated with myself, but what can you do. Today a new girl is starting at work and I have to focus on getting her all set up. If there's time, I'll finish the review at least.

I started watching a new anime on netflix called Xam'd. That is some crazy shit. But it's by Studio Bones, and I can't turn it off, it's that interesting. I think I'm gonna cosplay Haru at A-kon.
asmaria: (Komui smile)
I had a much better day yesterday, even if I feel like I'm falling farther and farther behind in math. I really have to focus on studying this weekend. Apparently my teacher doesn't like the traditional way of factoring, and so I need to catch on to her way of doing it because if I can, I really think it will save me a headache in the future. Ugh. I have to unlearn what I was doing last semester now.

But I did otherwise stay in a good mood all day. I didn't do anything stupid or piss anyone off. All mishaps seem to be set aside so I'll do my best to just improve myself.

[personal profile] insidious showed me someone's playthrough of Dead Space 2 because I really want to see her play DS3, and had no idea how the second one went. Still have more of that to catch up on, but poor poor Isaac Clarke. I don't envy that man at all. Although in our sandbox, he and Komui are great friends thanks to all the shit both of them have been through. Bonding over trauma, lol. One of these days I'll give that game a shot. I'll die a lot, I suck at first person games.
asmaria: (Allen T_T)
I should not have procrastinated. I'm understanding this math. But dammit, I should not have waited until the last minute to do problems that take me 10 - 15 minutes each at LEAST. T_T
asmaria: (Komui sleepy)
I am so exhausted. I think I'm dreaming at night or something because I'm not getting enough sleep. I also had a nightmare the other night, I thought I heard a dog panicking at my bedroom door, scratching and crying at it. The worst part was that was when [personal profile] insidious rolled over on the top bunk and the creaking bedframe startled me out of my sleep. I'm surprised I didn't shout or anything. My heart was racing, though.

Last night I think I just plain out went to bed too late, but it wouldn't make much difference. Besides, I was watching Escaflowne again with [personal profile] selphish. We're brainstorming a game that we can post to in our spare time based on the series, so I'm really excited, and I'm so nostalgic about that show.

Tomorrow I've got the first day of class this semester, and don't have any school supplies yet. I guess I'll pick something up on campus if I can leave work early. I have to talk to my dad about that, cause I don't have my book yet either. Ugh, why did my paycheck have to come so late. If the funds aren't available tomorrow (the check has to clear) I'm just going to wait until this weekend to pick it up. Even though I hate starting the homework late, work has been slow enough lately I can do the problems up there on the computer online to catch up. Thankfully.

I need to write a reply for my sandbox with [personal profile] insidious tonight but I think I'm going to take a bath and see if that helps me focus any better first. Then sleep. z_z Ugh.
asmaria: (Lavi & Allen @_@)
It was super foggy today. Like... Silent Hill foggy. So I had to get some pictures.

By the time I got out of class, it was brighter, but I realized the flowers I took a picture of last time also got bigger, so I went back and got some more pictures. The one I took of the whole plant came out with a shadow so I threw it out, but I got one of a few bugs on the petals! Then I ran off because one of them was a bee. c_c

Big pics under cut )

I have a test this Friday. Augh. I'm pretty sure I get everything, but... today's lesson made my head hurt.
asmaria: (Kanda smack)
I got a 100 on my math test, even though I didn't finish it. The last 3 questions were bonus questions, so getting two done, and one regular question wrong, it all evened out. *_*

I've been a brat lately. I hate saying the wrong things. I get frustrated when the wrong words come out of my mouth, and I should know better. I think I am explaining why I say or do something awkward, and then I end up insulting someone. It doesn't matter what I was doing, I should just apologize. I do it so often though I have to wonder, what's wrong with my perception? I can change my attitude and I can change my reaction, but it doesn't change the thoughts in my head that don't understand. I will still get frustrated, and I don't know what to do with those feelings.

That dumbness aside, I work all week this week and I'm going to have to push myself to not stress out. It's really not so bad, I just hate the long stretch of not having a break. I worked 2 days over the weekend and I work straight until Thursday. My dad emailed me though and said somehow, the old job I used to work might be coming back together. I am so glad. Not just because he offered me a position again (and hell yes, I accepted!), but because I am so proud of my dad. In contrast to my lack of effort, he has worked hard in life to get what he has. I am not capable of pushing myself the way he has. I look at what I'd have to give up to be that successful, and it terrifies me. My dad is awesome, though. I hope he is happy that he is getting the business back together, because while he wouldn't really talk about it, I know it hurt him that the company sold to a larger one and it was out of his hands. I'm going to do everything I can to help this time. I won't take my position for granted. Leaving this here to myself, I want to look back on it and motivate myself, even if all I am for him is a receptionist/assistant.

I finished watching Ouran Host Club this past weekend, and it made me think a lot about my friends and my future. It was a really beautiful show. I love it. *_*
asmaria: (Reever)
I've been super busy as of late, so I apologize for not updating. I sadly update little spazms of communication to facebook, but that's mostly because that's where I've been going for help with my math. It's faster feedback.

School has been insane. But mostly because I misunderstood the course requirements. -_- We use a program called, and our homework, the book, and the lessons are all online. Of course, I attend class for an hour 3 days a week, but all my work is done online. We are graded for a number of things, to quote the syllabus:

The daily work average will count 1/7 of you final grade. The attendance grade weighted at 20%, the homework average from MML weighted at 40%, and your quiz average weighted at 40% will be combined to form your daily work average.

Now, we get a quiz almost every day in class, in fact I think only once did we not have one. But there are also quizzes in MyMathLab. To activate their availability, you have to finish the study plan for that chapter or subchapter. A subchapter often has 80-150 questions, and about 3-6 quizzes for each sub-subchapter breaking down the kinds of problems. It's really helpful in learning things, but this had me thinking I HAD to do ALL of those problems in two days, because we have a new subchapter every class (so think Chapter 2.1, then Chapter 2.2, 2.3, etc. with a,b,c etc in each one of those). I was busting my unintelligent ass every day trying to get the entire study plan questions done, then do the quizzes, THEN take the 15 or so homework questions that on occasion, did total more like 30.

I had no time. I was freaking out. I had no idea how one could do all of this work AND take a full semester of coursework at the same time, and possibly work a part-time job as well. I work closer to full-time, and I need tutoring badly.

But today I talked to my teacher, and apparently while the online program tracks our progress and does give quizzes, the ONLY thing she's grading on are the 'Homework' questions. So.

That was a big waste of my time.

Maybe not, though, since I had to do a ton of problems over the last chapter, over and over and over again until I got them right. I feel more like I understand things now. But then we do things like graphing inequalites and that doesn't take much work so far to grasp, and I wish I could skip the tedium of study plan questions because I already get it. *sigh* At least it seems that I can, now. Homework questions have a due date before the next class, and if you don't get them done, they lock and the grade is unavailable. Everything else is done at your own pace.

SO instead of being 2 class-days worth of work behind, I can now jump ahead to what I do understand, and start studying for the next day's work, and get the homework done by wednesday.

And here I thought I was going to fail. u_u I actually only have one quiz I got a 67 on, one with a 75, and the other three are 100's, and my homework is 100% done (thank god it lets you redo similar questions if you get it wrong) with right answers, and my attendance is still at 108 points (out of 100, we start with 112 and they deduct 4 points each day you miss).

If I don't fail anymore quizzes, I can probably get a B in this class, assuming I pass all the tests.

I REALLY want to. I need to show my dad I can do this.
asmaria: (Estelle hmm)
I took an online aptitude test because I'm so torn over the state of what kind of future my career will be. I never cared before, because I thought I had it made. I mean, I took it for granted, sure. I kind of always knew that. But school is terrifying and I don't feel particularly smart. What I am good at is the kind of work that just doesn't pay well. But anyway, I can't say I'm surprised at the results. One test isn't worth posting because it was so simplistic, but it did point out pottery as the top choice. The other test was very detailed:

I agree with about 50% of it )

Ugh... and to top it all off? There's so much I'm going to have to pass before I can even get to those classes. Can I do it all in time? Don't your credits time out if you don't complete your degree in a matter of years? I'm so bad at math. My paper writing skills earned me a consistent D the last time I took the class, but I got a B once. Critical thinking has never been my forte, but I love to create.

I'm such a whiner.


asmaria: (Default)

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