asmaria: (Default)
That movie (Nocturnal Animals) was... a trip. I was not prepared. It did make you think by the end of it, but there were some shocking things in it I had no idea of, so if you plan to go see it, be warned you might want to look up why it's rated what it was. It was well done for what it was, though. I guess what I can take away from it is that I am a lot more stable at handling movies with unsettling content in them than I used to be. I enjoyed the acting in it, too. I didn't recognize that it was the same actress (Amy Adams) as the one in Arrival (THAT movie was amazing, omg) and Enchanted. And it was really weird to see Jake Gyllenhaal (how does one pronounce his name anyway?) play an emotionally fragile/damaged man after JUST watching Prince of Persia the other day.

...I much prefer him as Dastan, though. X)

So movies aside, I got a good chunk of Christmas shopping done. We went to an antique mall and to the regular malls, too. My family is really hard to shop for so I'm kind of going for the gift-card angle but along with something meaningful as a small trinket with it, with significance to what each person likes. For example I got my brother an antique wooden box to put the gift card in, because he and my sister-in-law like handmade things. Whereas my little sister only wants makeup... at least that was easy lol.

I don't think I've done as much mall-ratting in high-end malls as I have this weekend. It's a bit overwhelming to realize how much things in a lot of those shops cost. I never go into them. I window-shopped a lot of the fancy stores with my friends and felt just how small my own wallet was, jeez. I realize we live in a world with a skewed sense of value, going either direction. I make a lot of my own things, but mostly in cosplay. I understand the value of a well-made item, whether one of a kind or manufactured, and a lot of that gets undersold when people think it should be sold for less already. But I don't like the overly high cost of big name brands. I also dislike how cheap fast fashion is when it's probably made in some overseas sweatshop. It leaves me in a weird place, where I wouldn't mind spending more or buying brand things, but sometimes I think the label upcharge on them is just ridiculous. Extremely ridiculous. I'm still eternally torn over that. I'd like to own the same things my friends are oogling, and then I want to spend my money on sewing stuff instead, or set it aside for things like my home or a vacation or just being responsible. I'm not really going anywhere with this except I felt extremely poor and small walking into those stores. But I know if I switched my priorities around and saved, I could probably at least get a nice thing or two.

I like fandom too much, for the most part, though...

[personal profile] insidious played some more .hack//GU this weekend. It was just leveling, though the end of the game is very near. I tried to play some more Trails in the Sky but I fell asleep. The only real chance I had at attempting it was after going to my dad's for tree-decorating on Saturday night. They invited [personal profile] insidious over, too, and I think it's cool that my family included her since she only really gets to go home a few times a year for holiday stuff. And it's something I appreciate a lot since I don't really have anyone else I'm as close to to drag along with me to family gatherings.

I blew off my diet this weekend and I regret it immensely. It's really an understatement to call it a diet, when it's more of a lifestyle to eat low carb like I do. My body could REALLY feel the difference when I ate rice and sweets and other filling things. I got super sick later in the day. It felt like a horrible sugar crash and I was exhausted and my heart was a bit fluttery. If I think of binging on sweets again, I really just need to remember how awful I felt. x_x It sucks because I fucking love sweets and carbs. But a little restraint will save me tons of feeling terrible later.

Tonight I will try to get a lot of things done that I wasn't able to since I wasn't home much. No excuses, I have to clean out the sink. -_- And make another bow. Start some laundry. I need to start working on Leorio's briefcase. That's probably enough for one night.
asmaria: (Default)
I am so excited. I enrolled today for Steel Band again at Richland. And while I had said I didn't want to take another math class, I figured 'what the hell?'. My teacher had a point when she said 'use it or lose it', and I don't want to forget what I had learned by the time I get around to feeling like taking Algebra. So, I'm going to take it this fall. And if I can manage Algebra AND music, then maybe next semester I'll take something else on top of that. It just depends how I feel, but I really want to keep my brain active.

It scares me to think that bipolar and alzheimers have the same areas of the brain affected, and I may just be being a worry wart, but I feel like being in school keeps things in my head ticking the way they should be. I'll stay in school forever if I keep getting the highs of accomplishment that I got last semester.

On top of that, I like my therapist, and I found a psychiatrist that will see me. I feel so... responsible. I hope that this optimism lasts.

Last weekend [personal profile] insidious and I saw Pacific Rim, and it was AWESOME! And then the next day we went to the Dollar Theater and saw Olympus Has Fallen. That was also good, and I love the actors in it. I felt like I was watching some alternate universe of Batman, though, because Harvey Dent and Lucius Fox. XD

Then Sunday [personal profile] rubyredrose, [personal profile] ot_atma, and Gypsy got me and we went to Ikea. Well first I went to a breakfast buffet with [personal profile] insidious, and so I planned to have a healthier lunch at Ikea. We went to Blue Mesa instead, which was another buffet, and so my diet was blown but it was so delicious. ;_; I also got a pretty tasty drink, but the blueberry made it kind of bitter. After that we got my shelf and some tupperware, and after an ordeal getting inside and assembled, I have a bookshelf. It was exhausting, but tonight I plan to use that clear space to organize my room more. Without them, I wouldn't be able to get as far as I have.

Tonight I'm gonna stop and get groceries on the way home. Well, rice at least. I have a delivery of local farm vegetables showing up tomorrow, so I don't need much else. Then I'll cook and get to organizing, and then play some Suikoden again. It's almost time to take away all of Gremio's things. T___T That game is so sad, but what I do to the characters may be worse.
asmaria: (Gokudera)
First things first, I'm so tired. I think I slept 9 or 10 hours last night, though not all in one go. I also woke in the middle of the night, heard a voice whisper something, and rolled over to go back to sleep because I did not want to acknowledge it and it was in the middle of the night while I was sleeping downstairs on the couch. I swear I heard the stairs creak lightly.

Later I had dreams about a dog that I am not sure if it was Maggie or Summer, but reminded me of both. It was bizarre.

When I woke up though, [personal profile] insidious and I went to get my drug test done. That's right. I passed my 3 day working interview!! So once they find my pee drug free, I'll have a permanent job, and 2 months from now, I'll have full benefits!

I really don't care how stressful this job is because I needed this. I think that I will get better at it, and the people are really nice too. My biggest problem is learning about all the protocols for answering phones correctly, but I can get that eventually. It's a huge test of my attention span, but it's pushing me to be better than I was before. It's making me stop being a slacker, something that I've recently come to terms with, and I actually feel proud of what I can do when I bust my ass to get it done. I just hope that I can keep this momentum going. I don't want to let anyone down.

Anyway, then we went and saw Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, then Red Tails. Extremely Loud was an AMAZING movie, but I cried so much during it. It was very moving, and I thought that I might find some of the traits of that kid annoying, but honestly I just grew attached to him by the end of the film. It's not just about him, it's about people, and loss, and understanding yourself and the world and the people around you. You will have this bittersweet feeling when you leave the theater, but in its own way, it's uplifting.

Red Tails was fun, but definitely a Lucas Film, and definitely a bit on the corny side with dialogue. I still enjoyed it, and the flights and battles were well choreographed, and I liked all of the characters.

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Asmaria

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